So it’s that time of year again. Frost on the pavement, dark mornings, big jumpers, cold crisp air and – shock horror – Snow. This presents some unseen pitfalls, especially around that tricky fourth date. You’ve met someone who thinks your usually embarrassing party trick is actually hilarious and then you’ve met for that all important third date; dinner. After two bottles of wine you still have loads to talk about and as the night winds up you have that first kiss. The magic happens and you realise you might be falling for her.
You’re texting later that night and she suggests that next date maybe you should get take out. After all it’s cold and raining out there (code for ‘You wouldn’t get to see how much effort I put into my hair and makeup because after 30 seconds out there I’d look like a scarecrow’). Done deal right? Wrong! Because as soon as you turn up she’s going to ask you to choose a film to watch and many brave young men have fallen at this hurdle, tripped up by inexperience and mistaken self-belief.
If it were summer you’d be going on a picnic in the countryside. You could lie on the warm grass, look at the clouds and talk about anything. But it’s there. A 46 inch black rectangle sitting ominously in the living room like a shrine that must been worshipped. She’s testing you my friend. She’s allowing you to show your true colours, the sneak.
Portia has three boxes (Sky+, Chrome and Samsung) but all that glistens is not gold. Choose the kind of film you’d watch alone and she’ll either think you’re either a child (coolly watching you bounce up and down with excitement as Optimus Prime smashes across the screen) or a psychopath (as you expertly quote lines from Scarface with more venom than Pacino himself). So why not just choose a film she wants to watch? Because you have no idea what she likes – after all asking someone their top 10 films on a date is so clichéd. So you just hope for the best and choose Bridget Jones or 50 Shades of something or other.
Disaster. She knows, she knows you’re bored. She can feel it. She can feel the apathy. Worse – she wouldn’t expect or want to watch these types of films with you! They’re reserved for nights in with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte & Miranda! Now she thinks you’re a pushover. You had one chance to prove you were a normal sane adult and you blew it. Now you’ve got to watch 2 hrs of God knows what before going home to reflect on how useless you are, especially compared to Mr Darcy / Mr Big.
Bassanio, there is a third option – a selection of slightly overlooked films from the 21st century which Mark Kermode would look upon and smile. They’re guaranteed to show that you’re cultured, thoughtful and have taste beyond the mainstream. Better still chances are there’ll be at least one here neither of you has watched. If your suggestions are greeted with an enthusiastic nod you know she’s a keeper. So get comfy on the sofa, snuggle down and let’s “Netflix’s & Chill” as the cool kids say.
The List – OK, there are more than 10 but it’s tough to narrow it down!
Sci-Fi – Moon, Looper.
Light Comedy – The Life Aquatic.
Psychological – Take Shelter, Place beyond the Pines, The Prestige.
Dark comedy – The Guard, Seven Psychopaths.
Very dark comedy – In Bruges.
Documentaries – I’m not there, Rush.
Feel Good – Slumdog Millionaire.
Horror – The Grey, Buried.
Adventure – The Fall.