Navigating modern dating can seem like a daunting experience for some, so if you’re a new single or someone looking for love again after a long relationship or marriage, our Resident Dating Expert, Sarah Louise Ryan, has some top tips for you.
First things first, you should know that everyone is in the same boat as a single no matter where you choose to find that certain someone. There are so many options out there for modern meeting – apps, events, websites, matchmakers and who knows what else, so its no wonder it can sometimes seem overwhelming. If you ever find yourself wondering where to start, here are three top tips:
There’s no rush. Take your time.
Half the hurdle is in our own minds when it comes to finding a match. If you’re feeling like you’re in a rush, maybe due to the pressures of the holiday season with friends, family and peers, just remember finding the right match is a marathon, not a sprint. Trust, respect and love are built over time in a relationship and so take your time when consciously looking to couple-up to set yourself on the right path. First take stock of what you want, what you don’t want and also why things haven’t worked out in the past (this is helpful to gain clarity on the kind of couple you would like to be in the future). If you eliminate any time-frame you have in mind, you’ll enjoy the process more and alleviate pressure.
Re-build your confidence
If you feel like your mindset could do with a little reset around finding a match then this is something worth investing in. Sometimes we can create limiting beliefs around love and life, what we deserve and what we don’t, what we are worth and what we may not be worth. There’s one thing that’s certainly worth knowing – you are gold. You deserve ultimate happiness in dating, relationships and love and if you even have the slightest thought that you don’t deserve this or that you aren’t worth your weight in gold, then work on your confidence and the rest will come in time.
Be clear about the kind of person you would like to meet.
When out there dating you’re investing a lot of time, energy, emotion and sometimes finances too. Be clear on the kind of person you would like to cross paths with. You don’t want it to feel like a shot in the dark when you’re investing all of the above, you want to be clear on who you want to meet, the kind of relationship you would like to build and how you would like to feel in that loving, fulfilling relationship.
Important to note that on a first date everyone feels nervous and that’s natural, it means the person in front of you cares and so if things don’t run ‘picture perfectly’ and you find yourself “unsure” about a second date, I would always advise meeting for a second time, things can be ‘oh so different’ and you’ll have a better view on how things might look longer term.