Summer is out of sight and the season where singles start the search for love is upon us. Dubbed as ‘cuffing season’, the cooler Autumnal months are essentially the time of year where singles who would normally not be so ‘serious’ in their search for love are now consciously seeking to couple-up or, at least, have a more consistent approach to modern dating.
The idea of cuffing season is born out of the concept that during the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves, along with the rest of the world, desiring to be ‘cuffed’ or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity can cause singles to become lonely and looking for company.
While dating industry professionals agree that this time of year is busier than others, we also note that there is a pressure that can come from friends or family looking for you to partner before the holiday season. While it’s nice to take someone home to the parents for Christmas lunch, isn’t it more important to ensure cuffing isn’t just coupling for one season, for one Winter Warmer match if you will? Well, here are a few tips to avoid cuffing season if you are actually looking for love in the long-term.
- Think of all the reasons you’re dating right now. The good, the bad and the ugly. Are you dating because you want to be at home cuddling up to someone because the nights are drawing in and the days are getting cooler? Or, is it that you are actually crystal clear on the kind of person you are looking to meet and build a loving relationship with? Ask yourself these questions and if you feel more inclined to answer the latter and a little sense of resistance to jot down some answers to the former, then you might just be subconsciously signing up to cuffing season.
- Think about how you want to feel long term, not just during the winter months. Do you know how you want to feel in a relationship as well as how you want a partner to make you feel? Often when dating, singles tend to find themselves wrapped up in how someone else is perceiving them rather than checking in on questions such as ‘does this person seem like a good potential partner for me’ or ‘do I feel fulfilled and happy in their company’ the pressures of the seasons and the need to feel psychologically warmer in the cooler months can blur our vision if we’re not conscious and tuned into what we want and how we want to feel longterm.
- Get clear on the kind of person you would like to meet so you don’t settle for less than you deserve in love. If you know your core values and you’re conscious of attracting someone who mirrors them or doesn’t come up against them, then you’re more than likely setting yourself up for coupling success. If you feel unclear on your values then you’re not giving your romantic life the justice it deserves and you’ll often settle for less than you deserve in love. Knowing your values not only helps you to create boundaries but it also helps to sieve out those singles who are not quite right for you.