Guest post by Naomi Honey. Photo by Parkour Generations London.
Dating is hard. It’s a constant seesaw of hopes, expectations, disappointments, new people and emotional vulnerability. Of course, it’s worth all the work: we’re social beings, and for the majority of us who want to find a partner to love and share our life with, the outcome we’re working towards is a wonderful prize. Still, it’s hard work, and it can be draining and destabilising in the process.
So much of dating is about looking outwards, getting to know others, expanding our circle of people, places and activities. Doing that so much, it’s easy to lose touch with our inner selves, our central guidance, values and instincts and needs. We can get caught up with an external focus – do they like us? Are we interesting, attractive, or funny enough? How do we measure up? – rather than the far more important question of how we feel. Do we genuinely like this person? Do we feel good when we’re with them? Can we flourish in this?
What’s more, if we’re not being our balanced, authentic selves, it’s that much harder to find someone we really fit with. Firstly, we’re distracted, so we could miss them. Secondly, if we’re not really being ourselves it’s harder for them to identify us too. Thirdly, if we do find each other, the lack of balance will make it harder to connect.
So while dating, or in any time challenge and stress, it’s hugely important to put time and energy into staying balanced and in touch with our inner selves.
We do that by actively acknowledging and tending to our physical and emotional needs. We need to sleep well, eat well and get some exercise. We need to spend time doing things we enjoy, having meaningful connection with others and boosting our sense of agency, our ability to take action in our lives.
Investing in these reaps huge dividends. It rebalances us in ourselves. It brings more energy, as we’re working in alignment and harmony with our core needs and values. It helps us to make good, calm and healthy decisions about the people we meet. And it helps the people that we really do match with – and can have that amazing future with – to find us, as we’re present in the world as who we really are.
The Modern Dating Academy session The Dating Seesaw – Bringing Your Life Back Into Balance is all about doing this. It’s a practical 1 hour workshop where we dig into what’s out of balance and how we can reset it. It’s fun, engaging, and impactful and you come out with practical actions to help you regain your balance, confidence and sense of inner guidance.
I look forward to seeing you there.
Naomi Honey is a Life Coach, specialising in helping people to rebalance, rediscover their confidence and zest for life, boost their performance in life and work and reach their goals. She runs 1:1 coaching programmes and group workshops for businesses and professionals through her business Flytality. She is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) and a certified coach/facilitator for the award-winning Mind Gym. In her spare time Naomi trains and teaches parkour, with Parkour Generations, and goes dancing whenever she can – currently hooked on Brazilian forró. She will be running The Dating Seasaw: Bringing Your Life Back into Balance at The Modern Dating Academy on 14th August. Tickets here.